Today is the 30 April 2015. It's the eve of labor day, a long weekend awaits.

Hadda company event ended at One Fullerton today, and here I am, sitting by myself on a bench just next to Fullerton Bay Hotel. The view here is peaceful. I've got CBD just behind my back and panoramic view of Marina Bay Sands in my face. What an awesome way to end the work week.

It's been far too long that I haven't got time to myself like this, enjoying every bit of air and time the way I like. 

It was a last minute decision to postpone fetching home the baby and helper. I realized it was my chance to do this, I wouldn't let it slip away... I couldn't. 

I tried calling friends for last minute meet ups but none was able to. So I gave up and reckon I should probably have some me time. 

Haven't been happy recently, and I've no idea what's wrong. Nothing seems right anymore because everything I do makes me feel that I should be doing otherwise. The grass on the other side always seems to be greener. 

Should I work overtime to clear my work and perform better? Maybe I shouldn't because I miss my baby and I should be there to see him grow instead of having a job, let alone overtime?? 

Should I plan a trip to New York because I've been wanting to and now I've got a travel benefit working for Far East? Maybe I shouldn't because I should save up the money for my baby and rainy days. 

It's dreadful how I feel these days because nothing can make me truly happy. Things are so different now because we hardly get time to rest, and when we do, we run errands. We don't date anymore. Even on times when it's just the two of us, phone is your companion, not me. Because your engagement is with the phone 90% of the time. Who can I turn to when I'm sad?

We're reaching the stage to become familiar strangers. Hard truths. After all, we never really got to know each other well enough before we started dating. I have no idea what kind of lady attracts you. Neither do you otherwise. But we are, no doubt, two people who can go along really really well. 

Are we two people who's just following the brain too much instead of the heart? Doing the right thing too much? 

I'm so so lost.